Just got back from KL. Pretty hot and humid there. Oh and yes, a spot of rain as well! And boy when it rains, does it rain!
Having walked to the top of the steps in searing heat – hundreds of them as well, and avoided the rabid ( literary) monkeys, I was glad to get back to terre firma. And boy, was it hot and this was only about 0930hrs….
Anyway back to the grey and murky Blighty. Love it and just in time for Christmas. Having a few days away from the Office is not really to be recommended. I like to get away but I like to stay in control. Oh Irma, where are you when I need you ( as a point of fact she is currently in Manhattan. Her ex husband works for the Trump Organisation. How that will fare she doesn’t quite know, as her husband, like Irma is from Havana…) But he has invited her there for Christmas and she is having a super time, staying just near the Lincoln Centre. Of course its very cold there, but Irma, being Irma, can always create a bit of a diversion and currently is sporting something rather fetching in fur hats.
She said she is enjoying her husband spoiling her again and maybe she will see where he lands when the Trump Organisation is in place. She said Manhattan is in her blood…. so maybe she wont come back!!
I had previously fallen off the horse ( again) and needed a break which was why we went to KL. I don’t know why these horses spook but I have fallen off more times lately than in my entire life.
I aim to be careful now but after a fall and being concussed and time in the Hospital, we decided that it was time to have some sunshine and meet our Malaysian Agents before the season kicks off. I have to tell you 11 hours on an Air Malaysian flight is not the best experience, especially when they only had seats available in coach.. ( They don’t even have fresh milk for the tea, F F S)
Okay, back to work. The first thing we ran into was an irate Mrs Wimble. Now Mrs Wimble has been a host family of mine for about twenty years and does a fine line in leopardskin leggings. She usually teams these with matching boots and, get this, her car seats match her bottom half. You can see its an interesting impression, she gives, when first meeting a student. Please add to this that she is probably 4 stone overweight; has lost 3 of her front teeth and her hair is in the tightest of corkscrew perms. But, we love her anyway.
Her car is also a talking point. Its a Robin Reliant. Do you remember those? And yes, I am sure you wonder if they are still on the road. Well, this one is ….. and its driven with great care and attention by Mr Wimble. ( Mrs Wimble sits neatly in the front seat with her bag on her lap) I think however she has a contrasting bag, usually fuscia pink, so that she doesn’t morph into the car seats which, as I said before, resemble her leggings. It would be a tragedy if she got lost between seat covers… I do not jest……
However the cause of angst this morning was the fact that Mr Wimble had come out to the front of the house to take his first early morning Fag and saw something wrong with his beloved Robin Reliant. In fact he stood there for a moment ( so he tells me ) neither inhaling or exhaling, merely sucking. Somewhere in the night between locking up the car and coming out this morning, someone had dragged his Robin Reliant to the wall and upended it so that it rested, very gently against it. One tremble; one puff of wind and I daresay the thing would topple over and what would the result be then? Mr Wimble wasn’t sure what to do but one thing he was sure about, was who the perpetrators were !
Yes, last night he had got into a bit of a ruck with the two Turkish boys staying there. He had told them they had to be in by 10pm and they wanted midnight. Mrs Wimble entered the fray saying that she had treated them very well and given them tinned strawberries and evaporated milk that night for ” tea!” and so they should be thankful for that and respect the curfew. They sulked off but did, so she tells me, appear just before 10pm
The Turkish boys however, not one to be blamed for any injustice whether perceived or not, flatly refused to admit it was them but said they would help right it. Mr Wimble had tried earlier to lift it down without damage but was worried he wouldn’t be able to hold it and it would bounce down and the front snap off. Well come on Guys, it is only fibreglass after all. So the Turkish boys after their mandatory cigarettes, this time shared with Mr Wimble, huddled around the Robin Reliant and hatched a mean plan with him. They tried to manoeuvre it around and away from the wall but it would appear that the Robin had other ideas and once it had swivelled around they all lost control and it crashed down.
There was a moment silence, so Mrs W told me. No one moved. No one spoke. I don’t know if that was shock or a horror but when they all pulled themselves together, this was what was left…
The car had crashed down on its side and the wheel had been driven in, by sheer force, into the engine. Apparently that was the time to light more cigarettes. Mr Wimble was silent. Mrs Wimble, however, was not pleased and made it her sole mission that morning to let me know. What to do? Oh, what to do?
Meanwhile, Irma is sending me more pictures of her Manhattan skyline. Folks, I fear, we will soon be ” one man down!”
EDIT and UPDATE – Regarding a couple of comments below, please can I clarify that ” a fag” is a term used to refer to a cigarette…. and although can also be used in a Boys Public School it is not relevant to this Blog. Additionally, Robin is ” not a Fag from a British Public School ” but a type of 3 wheeler car, which surprisingly is not in production now…..Many thanks to Mick and Hariod for pointing out my social faux pas!