Steamy Weather and naughty Turks

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Just got back from KL.  Pretty hot and humid there.  Oh and yes, a spot of rain as well!  And boy when it rains, does it rain!

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Standing at Baku Caves

Having walked to the top of the steps in searing heat – hundreds of them as well, and avoided the rabid ( literary) monkeys, I was glad to get back to terre firma.  And boy, was it hot and this was only about 0930hrs….

Anyway back to the grey and murky Blighty.  Love it and just in time for Christmas.  Having a few days away from the Office is not really to be recommended.  I like to get away but I like to stay in control.  Oh Irma, where are you when I need you  ( as a point of fact she is currently in Manhattan.  Her ex husband works for the Trump Organisation.  How that will fare she doesn’t quite know, as her husband, like Irma is from Havana…)  But he has invited her there for Christmas and she is having a super time, staying just near the Lincoln Centre.  Of course its very cold there, but Irma, being Irma, can always create a bit of a diversion and currently is sporting something rather fetching in fur hats.

irma-hat         irmans                                                                                                                                                                She said she is enjoying her husband spoiling her again and maybe she will see where he lands when the Trump Organisation is in place.  She said Manhattan is in her blood…. so maybe she wont come back!!

I had previously fallen off the horse ( again) and needed a break which was why we went to KL.  I don’t know why these horses spook but I have fallen off more times lately than in my entire life.

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I aim to be careful now but after a fall and being concussed and time in the Hospital, we decided that it was time to have some sunshine and meet our Malaysian Agents before the season kicks off.  I have to tell you 11 hours on an Air Malaysian flight is not the best experience, especially when they only had seats available in coach..  ( They don’t even have fresh milk for the tea, F F S)

Okay, back to work.   The first thing we ran into was an irate Mrs Wimble.  Now Mrs Wimble has been a host family of mine for about twenty years and does a fine line in leopardskin leggings.  She usually teams these with matching boots and, get this, her car seats match her bottom half.    You can see its an interesting impression, she gives, when  first meeting a student.    Please add to this that she is probably 4 stone overweight; has lost 3 of her front teeth and her hair is in the tightest of corkscrew perms.   But, we love her anyway.

lul_leopard_print_legging_1

Her car is also a talking point.  Its a Robin Reliant.  Do you remember those?  And yes, I am sure you wonder if they are still on the road.  Well, this one is ….. and its driven with great care and attention by Mr Wimble.  ( Mrs Wimble sits neatly in the front seat with her bag on her lap)  I think however she has a contrasting bag, usually fuscia pink, so that she doesn’t morph into the car seats which, as I said before, resemble her leggings. It would be a tragedy if she got lost between seat covers…  I do not jest……

However the cause of angst this morning was the fact that Mr Wimble had come out to the front of the house to take his first early morning Fag and saw something wrong with his beloved Robin Reliant.  In fact he stood there for a moment ( so he tells me ) neither inhaling or exhaling, merely sucking.  Somewhere in the night between locking up the car and coming out this morning, someone had dragged his Robin Reliant to the wall and upended it so that it rested, very gently against it.  One tremble; one puff of wind and I daresay the thing would topple over and what would the result be then?    Mr Wimble wasn’t sure what to do but one thing he was sure about, was who the perpetrators were !

Yes, last night he had got into a bit of a ruck with the two Turkish boys staying there.  He had told them they had to be in by 10pm and they wanted midnight.  Mrs Wimble entered the fray saying that she had treated them very well and given them tinned strawberries and evaporated milk that night for ” tea!” and so they should be thankful for that and respect the curfew.  They sulked off but did, so she tells me, appear just before 10pm

The Turkish boys however, not one to be blamed for any injustice whether perceived or not, flatly refused to admit it was them but said they would help right it.  Mr Wimble had tried earlier to lift it down without damage but was worried he wouldn’t be able to hold it and it would bounce down and the front snap off.  Well come on Guys, it is only fibreglass after all.  So the Turkish boys after their mandatory cigarettes, this time shared with Mr Wimble,  huddled around the Robin Reliant and hatched a mean plan with him.  They tried to manoeuvre it around and away from the wall but it would appear that the Robin had other ideas and once it had swivelled around they all lost control and it crashed down.

There was a moment silence, so Mrs W told me. No one moved.  No one spoke.  I don’t know if that was shock or a horror but when they all pulled themselves together, this was what was left…

reliant-robin-top-gear

The car had crashed down on its side and the wheel had been driven in, by sheer force, into the engine.  Apparently that was the time to light more cigarettes.  Mr Wimble was silent.  Mrs Wimble, however, was not pleased and made it her sole mission that morning to let me know.  What to do?  Oh, what to do?

Meanwhile, Irma is sending me more pictures of her Manhattan skyline.  Folks, I fear, we will soon be ” one man down!”  

skyline

 EDIT and UPDATERegarding a couple of comments below, please can I clarify that ” a fag” is a term used to refer to a cigarette…. and although can also be used in a Boys Public School it is not relevant to this Blog.  Additionally, Robin is ” not a Fag from a British Public School ” but a type of 3 wheeler car, which surprisingly is not in production now…..Many thanks to Mick and Hariod for pointing out my social faux pas! 

 

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30 thoughts on “Steamy Weather and naughty Turks

  1. Well it is good to have you back! Why are falling off your horse so much….one thing springs to mind…..age Looney it catches up with us all even you superwoman. Robin Reliant the only one I remember is the one owned by Del Boy – I am surprised there are any still around – was Mr Wimble’s the last survivor.

    Anyway what is the world coming when Looney has to turn left on entering a plane – traveling with the great unwashed that must have been a shock!.

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    • Birdie – I was just about to email you ( will do after this) I don’t think its age, more dodgy steads! Please note, I wanted to turn left, but I had to turn right… Aaagh… the shame of it! 😦

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  2. Jackie, my considered advice would be to rewrite the following passage in light of your North American readership being unfamiliar with British colloquialisms: “Mr Wimble had come out to the front of the house to take his first early morning Fag and saw something wrong with his beloved Robin Reliant. In fact he stood there for a moment (so he tells me ) neither inhaling or exhaling, merely sucking.” 😮

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    • OMG – thank you so much for effective editing suggestions! You are right, although I daresay your thoughts are straight on the back of your own Blog which was a whisper from Pornographic double entendres!!!! I could also add that whilst I am in awe of your attentiveness to my poor scribing, it saddens me that you are also attuned to the grubbier parts of mere mortals mind sets…I imagine you almost at the Pearly Gates with regards to achieving that higher level. I will, however, duly amend as Mick has also similarly commented. My thanks to you both… I think!

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      • Now, I’m wondering about “according”. (in accordance?”)Y ou are bringing out my old lady English teacher persona, Hariod. I must regain control………………… (Oops!)

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Would love to have heard more about KL, Jackie, as I’ve never been there. Another post, perhaps? Haven’t seen a Robin Reliant in absolute ages! A friend used to drive one, until he wrote it off (can’t remember how – he probably hit a sparrow or something like that).
    Anyway, stop falling off horses; it can’t be good for you! And, finally, I agree with Hariod about the early morning fag – you might get some interesting comments from Americans, otherwise!

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    • Your comments made me smile. Thank you. I can imagine your friend’s Robin Reliant being written off because of Bird Strike! I will write about KL next then. I have lots of pictures. Still a colonial feel and believe it or not, they actually still like the Brits. 🙂

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  4. That car was a total mistake regarding British engineering. They were awful. Who would buy one? I love KL….so yes I also look forward to your blog on it. Pleased to see the monkeys are still causing havoc. Viscious little things. 😡

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  5. Hi Jackie, what, or where is KL? I knew “faf” from reading lots of Harlequin Romances is my younger days!
    Never heard of a Robin Reliant before tho. Those naughty boys!! Did the Wimbles get a confession from them?? Any reparation?? When and where was the memorial service?? Where was poor RR buried??

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    • Thanks for reading. Well fag has two meanings, of course. A cigarette and someone who ” looks after” older boys at boarding school. KL – its Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia so a 12 hour flight to UK. If you saw Mrs Wimble without her teeth, you would get a confession, whether true or not! Robin Reliants never die, they simply get recycled as the best thing about them is that they were built in fibreglass

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  6. Jackie, I too, want to see more about Kuala Lumpur, although I truly enjoyed hearing tales of Irma and the Wimbles. FYI Some of your photos did not show up – just a square with a ? in the middle. I don’t know whether it’s at your end or mine. PS I think I’ve met that Bishop Hariod mentioned. He was a stickler for proper usage (of language, that is.).

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    • Hello Clare. Hope you are well? I have been a bit tardy and not written anything. I have some super pictures of KL but in the meantime have been over at Red Hill Informal Settlement trying to help in a very small way. We are trying to raise some money for a porch and path so that the kids in the nursery can stay dry in the rainy season . An impossible task I fear

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      • Jackie. I am well and very happy, now that I see you here this morning. I need to stop by to visit you and get a chuckle from the antics of the people at the school. I’ll stop by and visit you tonight to find out about the Red Hill Informal Settlement. I’m looking forward to the pictures of your latest trip. Take care and have a great day❣️Clare

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      • Nice to hear from you again. Hope you enjoyed your break. I have done a Blog but its not very amusing or humorous. I think I sound ” rather angry!”….

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      • It’s good to express all feelings, my friend. Angry Jackie is still sweet, funny Jackie inside! And always interesting. I’ll check it out.

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    • Well I did reply to you but for some reason it didn’t recognise me! W.T.F? No I haven’t unpacked completely…see what a slut I am! I took out the dirty washing and left the clean stuff, still in the suitcase for summer. I wont need it until then, so who cares…….
      I was trying to write a Blog about Red Hill informal Settlement but I become too passionate and angry about it and it doesn’t make good reading. I promise to try harder. Thank you for the proverbial kick up the at*e 🙂

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      • Very strange! About the ‘recognition’! I do that as well – about the clothes!!! 🙂 I guess that makes us a pair of sluts.
        Does this mean that you have abandoned all hope of doing that post or are you going to give it another go when you feel calmer, ooops, I nearly said karma then – Freudian?? lol
        Perhaps write it anyway and try to do it dispassionately (think of one of your ex’s) lol (sorry if I have over-stepped the mark here!) (I know you are pals with ALL your ex’s) tee hee

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  7. yes I am pals with them all. Nice men, save for the Pilot who is a fuck wit. Someone needs to take a gun to him. I will write it but it has to be serious and then people think ” oh that is dreary” its a sad tale to tell. South Africa is probably doomed….

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  8. First of all, I love KL. I have been to the Baku caves. I had to be dragged there but it turned out to be fun. Second, it is unfortunate that we live in a triggered society where a choice of word which is perfectly understood in your culture requires you to edit yourself. I’m not going to be surprised if people complain about women named “Fatima” because the first three letters spell a banned word.

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    • Hello and thank you for commenting. I also love KL. That colonial feel and the people are so gentle and friendly. I laughed.. you are right about Fatima – I hope she isn’t over weight! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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