Security Forces and American Propaganda

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I did say that the Unaccompanied Minor was tricky.  And she is!  It didn’t take her very long to show her spots – stripes and probably even her knickers if she carries on the way she is.  As I am having to go away in January I need someone ( reliable) to look after the house.  I cant leave it and the animals in the car of those males who currently reside here. ( Aladene and Mohamed and on occasions, Number 3 son!)  The last time I went away, I left Aladene and Mohamed in charge.  That was a huge faux pas on my part and I lived to regret it.

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Shebah Dog.  Please don’t lock my Dog Flap any more..

 

For some bizarre reason ( probably fear of being broken into) they locked the dog flap so Shebah Dog couldn’t get out.  She was so distressed at not being able to use the garden that she broke through the dog flap.  Hence for the remainder of my time away, she had to sleep in the dining room at night to keep warm and the kitchen was freezing cold due to the 2 foot square hole where the Dog Flap used to be. Why it didn’t occur to them to block it up or get a new one is beyond me, especially as they seem to have Amazon on permanent speed dial, or the equivalent thereof.   No longer did Mohamed have to worry about Buggerlars ( as he pronounces them) because you could just put your hand through the broken dog flap and turn the key in the back door and walk in.  Added to that I had, in some very weak moment, offered to look after Bruno whilst Tomasso was away in Rome during Christmas, and so it would mean taking care of Shebah Dog and another highly strung one, whose manner is so unusual and unpredictable that he should not be looked after by anyone under 25 years old.  A plan needed to be formed.

bruno

Bruno.  Our Christmas Guest

 

Anyway, I digress.  

So I asked Number 2 husband if he would mind coming over and House Sitting whilst I am away.  He doesn’t normally mind as he gives him a chance to do something new and catch up with old Buddies.  Yes, I know, I am very kind allowing him to pop over and crash here when he needs an escape.   I had written about him before when he appeared about a year ago and caused a bit of an upset with Husband Number 3 and Mary.

https://looneybitch.wordpress.com/2015/11/16/she-just-needs-managing/

But as I need him now, I am happy to swallow my pride and let him back in…temporarily. I haven’t actually seen Mary since the incident last year and so the way things are going I should be able to permanently eliminate The Unaccompanied Minor in a matter of days. She has become more of a pain that I could describe and a lot of sucking of teeth has gone on both professionally and socially for some time now. She needs to “GO!”

For some reason she seems to think that Husband Number 2 is a rich Russian Oligarch rather than an Ex Pat living out the last of his days at the Yacht Club in Minsk with a wife thirty years younger .  He is guaranteed to either smoke or drink himself to death and when I asked him why he stayed there in the unending cold he replied, quite simply, that he was still free to smoke where he will.

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Husband Number Two.  A life affair with women and tobacco

 

So the Unaccompanied Minor has said she would be happy to come over and help from time to time which means she has her eye on another man to fall under her spell. I have lost track of the amount of men who she has left in her wake and I see Husband Number Two not being any different.

Aladene and Mohammed aren’t overly pleased and were hoping for the house to themselves but I cant trust them because if I leave them alone, then their whole daily schedule goes to pot.  They used to think it was absolutely fine to go to bed at 3 in the morning and get up about mid-day.  I told them they were not in the Gobi Desert anymore and whilst in Rome ( or Shoreham by Sea to be exact) they would go to bed at a sensible time and get up by 08.00am. for Flight School  Of course Mohamed being somewhat of a “smartarse” told me that the Gobi Desert was actually in Mongolia and China and the nearest one to them was the Sahara.  I replied that I didn’t need a lesson in Geography and was actually only making a point, to which he replied ” is that the last one of the day you will make?”

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Take your glasses over Mohammed. Its 10pm at night!

 

Talking of the two boys I asked if they would be joining us for Christmas Lunch or going home.  Flight School closes for 2 weeks and they often try to get home to see their family.  Mohammed is dreadfully homesick and wants to visit his girlfriend.  It would appear that he was engaged at 18 to some girl he had met twice and who lives in Benghazi.  As Mohammed lives in Sirte, you can work out how often they get to see each other even if the route is along the picturesque coastal route. ( He flies into Tunis and then drives over the border )  Aladene of course seems to be living under the radar, having had his passport confiscated by Lunar House but at the same time, they wont allow him to leave. Its been like that now for over three years.  His day to day life, however, is spent very much at liberty so I don’t think he is under the beady eye of MI5 and in fact has already applied there for a job in the Arabic Section.  Watch this space….

Talking of MI5, it would appear they are looking for Persian speakers and Farhad ( my sobbing partner) has also decided to apply.

farhad

A life long supporter of The Shah

 

He thinks its another way of overthrowing the Ayatollah and bringing back the Shah.  When I said that the Shah had been dead ( and buried) for many years and he knew that     ” very well” he smiled and said it was part of American propaganda and  once we had removed the ISIL threat, the Shah would be back on his throne and Persia would return to the Old Days.

Another person who really shouldn’t be holding his breath between now and then….although I do agree that life for ordinary people was probably a lot less restricted then, than now.

Number Two has text me to say he has just crossed over the Polish Border and will be in England, soon.  This will be interesting as it would appear he is just over 1 month earlier than I require him. I try to call him back but his phone is switched off.  Its a nuisance because I would have asked him to turn around and go back home.  Because he is such a heavy smoker he always drives from Minsk to us because he says he can continue to smoke.  He also says he enjoys the drive and can contemplate the world. For a guy who has never read anything heavier than the Daily Express, I guess you could say that was something of an oxymoron!  Oh well, I will just lay another place for lunch on Christmas Day.

STOP PRESS!!  Just received a text from Aladene.  It goes like this…..

” Thank you Mrs for the invitation to Christmas Day lunch.  When is it?”

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Aladene, a very special person!

 

If he didn’t have such an angelic face, I would slaughter him!

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23 thoughts on “Security Forces and American Propaganda

  1. Pingback: Security Forces and American Propaganda | Just an Everyday Housewife...

      • I heard Eartha Kitt on R4’s Something Understood the other night, and it was just mesmerising. Darned if I can recall the tune now though. I love these old school singers. Check Streisand out for mesmerising too:

        Liked by 1 person

      • Streisand! Now there is a VOICE! It doesn’t seem to have diminished in all the years. She has the power to bring tears to eyes.

        BTW – thank YOU!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Babs knows how to totally inhabit a tune, it seems to me. The technique is exceptional, but it’s not paraded, rather the emotional content is the preeminent consideration. Fabulous!

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  2. Wow you are getting more admirers by the day….more proposals on the way methinks! Husband number 2 or was it 3 sounds a character. I love Babs as well and racing as well. Maybe a days racing at Plumpton followed by a Babs evening or or you more a Glynbourne type of girl?

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  3. Birdie… done with marriage now. As you say, my track record is hardly impressive. Thanks for the reminder. Husband number 2 was a Charmer and you know how tricky they can be. I haven’t been to Glyndebourne for ages. Do you still have a tux? Probably not as I guess you would have bet that after your last shirt at Plumpton. PS.. remember I am still in touch with Phil Collins ( Trainer, not singer) if you want a day in the Owners Enclosure
    On a personal note. You not me. Am very pleased you are now filled with Bonhomie ( you must give me the recipe) and able to fulfil all of your duties again. Seeing the doctor… what will he recommend? Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Jackie, I so wish I could think of something relevant to say. The more I read your offerings, the more I think to myself, did this lady really express a desire to understand what H***** was trying to say, when she too clearly has verbal diarrhoea? And I wonder if that is where the issue lies – that you too are so alike! Of course, you know I’m joking!!!! I like to wind you up. Feel free to do the same to me – I can take it. :))))) By the way I lost count of the husbands. Did you stop at number 2 or are you on number 3? And how BIG is your house??? And what made you marry so many times? Was it hope over triumph or the other way around, or simply sheer greed? hahahahaha

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    • Greetings, from afar. I have been absent, but not noticeably so as am travelling in tropical climes. Back very soon. I did notice you did a rather good blog Marie on friendship and duplicity. I will reply when I am back. Regarding Husbands, ditched 3 now, so just lining up Number 4! My house is a little like the Tardis. You unclip the side and another room appears 🙂 No greed, sadly. I ended up supporting/paying off 2 of them and splitting the spoils with the first one. Any more questions I can clarify?

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      • You are an amazing soul Jackie. I love the way you’re not offended when I tease you. So refreshing to be able to laugh at yourself!
        I am a leeeeetle bit jealous you’re in tropical climes while I’m stuck here in cold, misty, damp, grey London Town. Sounds a bit like a song …
        How come you’ve had 4 husbands and I’ve had none? You got my share – although from the sounds of it, if you got my share, I had a lucky escape ….
        No more questions for now. Don’t get too relaxed though, I’m sure I can come up with a few more. LOL

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  5. Oh! I see I misread! You’re lining up the 4th one – you’ve only had 3 husbands. Only ….haha Are you in competition with Liz (Taylor) and Zsa Zsa? hahahaha

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    • I use to say ” Just call me Liz ( as in Liz Taylor) Now I don’t bother. It happened. Cant change it. Although I did try to side step the 2nd one, but he whined he had bought the flowers so I felt duty bond to attend. True story and needless to say it didn’t last long. I have had Christmas with all 3 of them before now.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ha ha Liz! If there was ever a reason not to get married to someone – it is when they whine about what they’ve bought. But I can see how you went along with it. Sometimes it just happens that way. You can see you’re heading for a train wreck, but the brakes on the train won’t work.
        Interesting – what all at the same time?? Or (hopefully) separately! :))))
        No wonder you have so much to say – your life is a film waiting for a Director. I’ve always fancied a directorial role? Whaddya say?

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      • Yes, all at the same time with the ” current boyfriend” there as well, presiding over all of them. Happy Days 🙂 Never mind about being a Director, I am looking for help in the office. Send your CV !! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaahahahhahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        You live in Dorset, don’t you? That’s a helluva commute from London! How much you payin’? I might be persuaded. Any perks?? :))))

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      • Nope! Just outside of Brighton. Shoreham by Sea ( google it!) perks… blimey you would work with a wide range of people from right across the globe. Angst and political correctness knows no bounds. It would be an education for you. You would love Farhad. He is from Persia…

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